Still

by Kristina

Strength reasoning and rationality weren’t enough. It was something with a sort of resistance and defiance that made everything else seem so feeble. So unimportant. So fleeting. It was life and love and everything painful. The gut wrenching feeling that what you’re doing is wrong, but the uncontrollable fluttering heart you hold is pulling you from every side. Tearing your sensibility apart. There is no justification, no way to describe vindicate or explain the urge. The feelings. The desire. You were still in love. The sun rose so you could see who you were missing. Every night was a dark reminder of what can never be. The love you can’t offer. The emptiness that cannot be mended. So much love has been shared, and there is so much more. And no strength reasoning or rationality could explain why you’re still alone. After all this, you’re still alone. And you’re still in love. After all this, the pain frustration heartache disappointment anger and insanity, you’re still in love. And with cold sweats and a heavy heart you will wake up, and you’re still fighting the feeling, and you’re still hating yourself, because you’re still in love.