You Say

by Kristina

I really wanted to
I really wanted to, you say 
But no matter how hard I tried
I just couldn’t stay
More than an hour 
Or two, maybe a night 
Because upon awakening 
I had made up my mind
I really wanted to 
Try and make it work 
Start something with you 
After all we’ve endured 
It could be real and special 
Open and endless 
Yet I let you remain as
Naught but a temptress 
I really wanted to 
Prove to you 
That I could be different 
Better and new 
That there is more to me 
Than my frustration and words
And I’d do everything I could 
To erase the hurt 
I really wanted to 
Give us a chance 
I promise I did 
But by happenstance 
I didn’t follow through 
And I left you here again 
I know you hate me now 
But I hope you understand 
That I really wanted to 
And although I didn’t 
Just know I never lied to you 
About wanting that commitment 
I really wanted to 
And I swear I was so close
But if you stick around maybe next time
I’ll give you some more false hope